BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY PA!

I was wondering the whole day yesterday why my dream was that weird. Early morning yesterday I woke up with a weird dream. In my dream, I was in a bad mood because of that water pump that we are working on back home. The reason why I was mad wasn’t clear. But I knew I raised my voice to the people I was talking to; my brothers, mama, my family. I thought I scared them because they just bowed their heads down and said nothing. But somebody from behind talked back in a sort of angry manner. It was my father. And I yelled back at him. It was funny because I was yelling at him in English. I bet was really mad. Then I woke up. I got scared. I dream of my father a lot. But he is usually calm and just sort of part of the crowd. He says only a sentence, a way of saying “hi, I am here. I am visiting”. But in that dream I yelled at him. I never raised my voice with him or talked to him like that when he was alive. But in that dream I yelled. I was so guilty. I was trying to ponder what the meaning of that dream was. I did not realized until later today that yesterday was his birthday, May 13th. He is 59 years old. Oh my gosh! I forgot and even Mama and the rest forgot. Now I am guiltier.

Sorry Pa. There are so many things going on in my head which made me forget things even the most special one. But I guess it’s not too late to greet you.

HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPA. YOU MAY REST IN PEACE. WE LOVE YOU.

PAPA!

My papa passed away November of 2004. He had a stroke and was in coma for 3 days before he finally gave up. He did not say anything before he went to coma. There was no sign at all that he is leaving us, although he kept asking for my sisters who were not present on that morning in the hospital. He was complaining that severe pain in his head and his stomach. He always wanted food because he was hungry. He was vomiting. He told me that he wanted to sleep and he closed his eyes. He was still puking. I was relived when he was asleep and so were my brothers. But then he never woke up after that. We tried waking him up and so the doctors but he remained sleeping. He looked so pale on that first day. On the second day we’re hoping for his recovery since he looked better. He was not as pale as the first day but still he was sleeping. We kept waking him up but no response. There were several times that we saw tears running down on his cheeks. I don’t know or we don’t know if he wanted to say something but he can’t say it. He had a fever in that afternoon, a high fever. We managed to move him to an air-conditioned room hoping it will calm down his fever. He was better for a while. But very early on that third day, he started flinching. We tried to calm him down by talking to him until he stopped. But he did it again and again. The doctor was telling us that a respirator will help. So we agreed. When everything was ready, they put the tube into my father’s mouth down to his throat. Papa was in so much pain. I was not in the room but I saw his feet twisting everytime they tried to push the tube down to his throat. My brother was screaming to stop them. “Stop! Are you trying to kill my father?” this is what my brother said. We were glad that his regular doctor came. He did the procedure smooth and easy. He was yelling at the other doctors for not using the right tube. The one they tried was too big and it probably sliced his throat. When I went to the room it was so messy and wet. They had to clean the blood that came out from my father’s mouth. I don’t know how much blood was there. After that everything seemed fine. Papa looked calm and in peace. But it only took about 3 or 4 hours and then he was flinching again. Doctors and nurses came and did everything but I guess he was already tired. We asked them to stop doing the CPR after doing it several times and there was no response. We were waiting until our father gave up his last breath. It was so painful. All of us were not ready. I miss him all the time. And may be he missed us too. All I know he visits me in my dreams often.

PAPA HOPE YOU ARE IN GOD’S LOVE AND PEACE. WE LOVE YOU ALWAYS!

SLEEPING RANDY!

He is soooo cute. Sometime, he gets so tired that he falls asleep at the table.

NEW MOTORCYCLE!

This is the brand new motorcycle that my husband bought when we were in the Philippines for my brother Gado. He just arrived from picking up this from the dealer. Gado drives motorcycle for a living. And his old motorcycle is really old. It still runs but it has a lot of problems. So my husband decided to buy him a new one. My brother is so lucky. I hope he’ll take care of this and use this for the good of his family and of everybody.

Thanks to my generous husband. I really appreciate the care that he gave to my family. And this made me lucky to have him. Thank you so much.

CATMON BEACH!

This is 3/4 of the people who joined us at the beach when we were on our vacation; my immediate family, relatives, neighbors and neighbors' girlfriends. Most of them I know and some I don't. I did not have a chance to capture some of them because they already went swimming and some were cooking. Plus, it was already dark. We got there late. We shouldered all the expenses from food, transportation, beach entrance and everything like we did last year. We managed to hired a mini-bus and a jeep for all of these people while my husband and I hired a taxi. It was expensive in terms of Phil money. But the smile, the joy, the laughter and the excitement of these people are more than everything. Watching them having fun was more than enough and watching my husband having fun being with these people was a satisfaction.

LONG, LONG, LONG DAY!

I had a long day at work today. I started at 6:30 as always and they let me stay until 5:30. But I managed to get off later than 5:30. My body feels heavy not because of being fat but because I am so tired. So now I don’t want to do anything. I don’t even want to think of tomorrow because tomorrow is another long day. We’ll be closed at 4:30 and spend the last two hours in cleaning our rooms. Gosh! I am not even excited of my Saturday because it will be the longest day of the week for me. I have to baby-sit from morning until maybe midnight. (I hope not until midnight.) Gosh! What a torture to myself. But it’s okay. I spent all my money from our vacation. So now I have to work so hard to replace my lost savings. Plus I still have project to finish back home. So double hard work.

VACATION IS OVER!

Vacation is over. I am back. It was hot and sticky in the Philippines when we were there. But, we still enjoyed every single day of our trip. It was so good to see my family again. I got to hug and kiss them. Of course there were tears for a while. My nieces and nephews have grown so much already. Last year, the oldest was just a kid but now she is so grown up. Amazing! The youngest of them still did the same thing. He cried the moment he saw me and my husband. It broke my heart but I understood. He only saw us twice. He was getting better though a couple days before we left. He even let my husband feed him. It was so much FUN. I will find time to post some of the pictures that we took during our trip.

See you…