Wednesday, September 16, 2009


Finally, I had my pelvic ultrasound done. I was not scared at all unlike that exam I had 6 days ago. I was so anxious to get the exam done so that I can pee. An hour before the procedure I had to drink this much water so that my bladder will be full. They needed it for the exam. God knew how uncomfortable I was. When we were driving to the clinic I felt like my bladder was going to explode. All I can think of was bathroom. We got to the building and we had to go all the way up to the 11th floor. I know the elevator was fast but my urge to pee made it the slowest elevator ever. We finally got to the clinic and damn my back started hurting. The receptionist said that I can pee but just a little bit not to empty my bladder. Tears ran down my cheeks when I peed and when I tried to stop my pee. I was a little bit better for maybe a minute and after that I had to pee again so bad. And my back started hurting. I sat on the floor didn’t care those people who were looking at me. And at that time I really did not care. The receptionist called me to answer her question and told me that I can pee just a little bit. I cried again. When I was heading toward the waiting area I heard my name called. And that woman who did the exam said, “Please tell me you did not pee.” And I was so honest saying, “Yes, I did. But just a little bit.” We went to the exam room of course with my husband. I heard her saying family members are not allowed but she let my husband in anyway. And so the exciting part started. She did this and that and the first procedure was done. She told me to go to the bathroom to empty my bladder. Here was the problem. I peed and still want to pee but nothing came out. I sat on the toilet for a long time hoping that pee will come out. And I gave up and went to exam room continue the exam. She did her job. Check this and that and told me, “You’re bladder is still full.” I told her, “Yes, this is what will happen to me if I will not pee right away.” When the exam was done she called the doctor and the doctor told me and my husband that she did not see anything that is wrong. My first reaction was, “REALLY! BUT WHY IS IT I AM IN PAIN, RIGHT HERE? She just said, “Well, I don’t know what to tell you.” Ahhh… great! Although there is still question unanswered, I am so grateful of the result. I am still 60% scared though.

Thursday, September 10, 2009


I had my doctor’s appointment today. I was so damned scared. Well, I am so worried about my health. Worried but too scared to go to the doctor to find out what is going on. I guess I am just a coward. I was even terrified to tell my husband about what I feel. He just knew about it this Saturday. But finally I got the courage to see a doctor and talked to her of course with my husband’s help about the pain in my abdomen which been bugging me for years.

In the clinic, the nurse checked my blood pressure. I saw her eyebrows raised. And I sense something is going on. So I said, “High blood?” And she said yeah! Well, I am not surprise this runs in our family or could be from being so nervous. When she was done, the doctor came. I told her about my condition. She did a personal check up. She did check my breast and said they are fine. I was relieved. Then, she did the Pap smear. It was my first time so it was really awkward. But it wasn’t really as bad as what I think. She said my cervix is fine. But she recommended to have an ultra sound because my problem could be in my ovaries. And this is really what I thought. She told me not worry and there is nothing serious about it. Well, I am kind of 60% relieved now. I still have to do the ultra sound though. And this worries me. But I am hopping for the best. I will pray to God that everything will be okay.

I am so thankful for having a husband who is very supportive and positive. He gave me strength when I was so scared in the clinic.

Thank you my Dear. I love you.

Sunday, September 6, 2009


I ended up staying all night last night and most of the time during the day today. My husband and I went to bed past 10:00 this morning and wake at around 1:00pm. Just about three hours of sleep. We couldn’t stop watching our favorite TV shows “Heroes” which came on the mail few days ago. It’s getting better and better every episode that you wanted to know what happens next. We’ve been waiting for Season Three to arrive for a long time. And now we have it. Well, to me it is really a good show. But the effect of having just three hours of sleep, I woke up with my eyes hurting. They were red and kind of gross. I hate it. I don’t know if it stress from watching movie all night and day. So, I promise I won’t stay that late anymore. I learned my lesson.

Thursday, September 3, 2009


I was so surprised when my husband called at around 4pm yesterday. It was too early. He normally calls me between 8 and 9pm. I was scared thinking something was wrong. I was relieved when he asked me if he left his dinner in the fridge. So, I checked and told him it was not there. Then, he said that his food was stolen. Somebody must have taken it from the fridge in their breakroom either by accident or not. I don’t know but it was kind of funny. I never expect event like this to happen. But he was pissed off. He was eating hamburger instead of his favorite dinner. I told him my brother’s story when he was in the fifth grade that somebody stole his lunch too. But the point is they were kids but this guy whoever he is, is not a kid. He called few minutes ago. I asked him if the lunch box has been returned thinking that if it was an accident at least he’ll returned it. But my husband said that his lunch box never returned. He learned his lesson I guess because today he was guarding his lunch. He did not put it IN their fridge anymore. Funny! Well, I will do the same too. My husband and I hoped that whoever took it had enjoyed his super spicy dinner and learned his lesson. LOL.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

This is one of our favorite songs that my brothers and sisters used to sing when we do karaoke. i really miss it. I had visited my family twice but we never did karaoke. I spent my whole time talking with them. That is all. It was fun. May be next time. Hopefully.